Fore!!!!

Global warming is obviously having an effect all over Europe. While the poor inhabitants of Whitehaven struggle to cope with record rainfall and horrendous floods the Averyon has been blessed with temperatures of 20°C plus which is just as well as we've been working hard with the continued renovation of a nearby house. As the problems mount with trees growing out of walls, roofs leaking, walls crumbling and delayed planning permission it makes me think 'never ever renovate a French farmhouse and barn again' and I'm fairly confident that Barbara would not disagree. Back at Lagarrigue the garden makeover has continued with new steps being laid and Barbara loosing her cool with a 600 kilo trespasser.

We called over to the local wood yard to select something for steps and after finding some 'offcuts' of oak headed to the 'office' to pay, a mark II VW Golf complete with radio and sunroof but only three wheels! “If only everything in life was as reliable (or as versatile) as a Volkswagen”. To say Barbara has slaved away preparing the ground in readiness for seeding is a bit of an understatement and when on Saturday morning she noticed 'tiny' holes in her beautifully flat lawn she was less than impressed. One of the cows in our field had escaped and decided to take a stroll across the very new lawn and up our newly laid steps and path. That evening we were attending the local duck festival and when the cows owner arrived at our table full of apologies and two bottles of wine Barbara mellowed a little.

At a recent party, and after a couple of Ricards, I somewhat foolishly accepted an invite to play golf at the local par 3 golf course. It must be nearly fifteen years since I picked up a golf club and I wasn't looking forward to making a bigger ass of myself than I normally do on a golf course (some would say I don't leave it too just the golf course) but as it turned out there was nothing to worry about. The French are relatively new to golf and don't have the same concerns over etiquette as the more established game in the UK does. T shirts are not allowed but it's OK to wear jeans and gentlemen and ladies play in the same competitions. I was teamed up with fellow Brit, Philip, who had not played golf for over 40 years so expectations were not high but as it turned out we didn't let the side down, six pars and 16^th out of 36. Perhaps it was the fact we were playing in the Beaujolais Nouveau cup that made the golf go with a swing and with plenty of free samples available along with cheese, sausage, duck, bread and pâté the day was a great success.

At long last the Land Rover is back on the road. It's been in the garage for over two months being 'prepared' for it's CT (the French equivalent of the MOT). I thought there were a couple of things needed attention to get it through the test, the handbrake didn't work and the speedo cable has snapped. Turned out I needn't have worried about the cable as it passed with flying colours despite not having a speedo that worked which was just as well as fitting the replacement cable is proving to be a bit of a sod. I'll keep you posted but in the meantime if anyone is looking for a low mileage land Rover Lightweight I know where there is one.

It's raining again and again and again...

What an experience the last couple of weeks have been and it's taught me a couple of very important lessons. Never agree to work outdoors in Le Havre, Normandy in November and, although I already knew food was important to the French, nothing else

matters. Le Havre is a mixture of rain from Manchester (although to be honest even Manchester isn't that wet), wind from Newcastle and the numerous petrochemical plants and heavy engineering of Middlesbrough. What a picture that must conjure up? There is, however, an abundance of excellent seafood and fish restaurants one of which we were lucky enough to eat at for Sunday lunch. The choice of seafood was extensive but being the ever unadventurous Brit I chose the chevre chaud salad followed by moules and frites, boring I know.The restaurant was also famous for its beer and after a couple of 'small ones' it was time to visit the little boys room. French toilets can be 'different' but this had something I'd not witnessed before, a latrine half way up the wall with silver handles on either side. Obviously the inhabitants of Le Havre were either very tall or good shots. Had I had the camera with me at the time there would have been a picture here but I suppose being caught in a mens toilet taking photographs would have been difficult to explain, 'well you see officer I write a blog that no one reads and wanted a reminder of my visit to Le Havre'. Anyway it turns out the 'toilet on the wall' is for those patrons who have had a couple too many Ricard's and want to make space for their dessert. It's either that or I'm going to wish I'd kept off the mussels.

Despite the appalling weather we managed to get the job finished and enjoyed some excellent food. I find it's always a good idea at times like this to take a retired chef with you who has worked in some of the best London restaurants and been the development chef at M & S, so 'not just any chef'. Although you would not believe the incredulous reaction there was when coq au vin was made with chicken and not cock. Everyone in Normandy was made aware of this and I'm sure I saw a piece on 'Look Normandy'. As always the hospitality has been exceptional with one exception, the house where we've been working. Despite the horrendous weather and record rainfall there wasn't one offer of coffee, something I've not experienced in France before. I've been told that the citizens of Normandy are well known for their deep pockets and short arms and the residents certainly lived up to the Normans reputation.

The trip 'up north' has also given me the opportunity to watch a bit of French telly. Hearing Homer sound like Homer but in French and CSI New York dubbed in French and renamed 'Les Experts Manhattan' mixed with Agatha Cristie's Poirot the only thing that was missing was Allo Allo.

Whilst I've been toiling away in a wet Le Havre Barbara has been enjoying herself in the North west Rivera. Much progress has been made in the painting of our house there and carpets and blinds have been fitted. From the pic's I've seen it's all looking good and I'm looking forward to seeing it in late December.